Life Imitates Seinfeld
Frey Admits Fictions, Oprah Apologizes
PETERMAN: (Laughs) Kramer, my friend, that is one ripping good yarn.. (Hands Kramer a check)
KRAMER: You know, if you like that one, I got more.. what are you looking for? Romance? Comedy? Adventue? .. Erotica? (Clicks his tongue)
ELAINE: No, uh, Kramer. I don't think -
PETERMAN: (Interrupting) How much would you take for the whole lot?
KRAMER: My whole lot?
PETERMAN: Name your price, man!
KRAMER: (Thinks) 1500 dollars.
PETERMAN: I'll give you half that.
KRAMER: (Excited) Done!
PETERMAN: Kramer, my friend, (Gestures to Elaine) consider Elaine at your disposal.
[snip]
ELAINE: Would you please just get on with the stupid Bob Saccamano story?!
KRAMER: Well, I'm on the phone with Bob, and I realize right then and there that I need to return this pair of pants. So, I'm off to the store.
ELAINE: What happened to Bob Saccamano?
KRAMER: Well, nothing. His part of the story is done. (Elaine covers her face with her hands - showing her difficulty coping with Kramer) So I'm waiting for the subway, It's not coming, so I decided to hoof it through the tunnel.
ELAINE: Alright, well, now that's something..
KRAMER: Well, I don't know if I lost track of time - or what, but the next think I knew..
ELAINE: (Adding) A train is bearing down on you?!
KRAMER: No, I slipped - and fell in the mud. Ruining the very pants I was about to return.
[snip]
ELAINE: Oh, what didn't you like about the first chapter?
PETERMAN: Well, it started out nicely: "I'm returning some pants." A very identifiable problem.. (turns page) "I set of down a train tunnel.".. (turns page) But that's where the story takes a most unappealing turn.
ELAINE: Oh, no, no! That's where it gets interesting! Don't you see? The - the train is bearing down on you, you - you dive into a side tunnel - and you run into a whole band of underground tunnel dwellers!
PETERMAN: It just seems so cliched, and obvious. It's not interesting writing.
ELAINE: Yeah.. yeah. I know. Um.. how about if, instead of.. diving from the train, you.. uh, you, I don't know, you slip and, and fall in some mud, and.. ruin your pants?
PETERMAN: (Intrigued) The very pants I was returning. That's perfect irony! Elaine, that is interesting writing! (The intercom beeps)
SECRETARY: I have a Cosmo Kramer on line 4.
PETERMAN: (Picks up the phone) Peterman, here.
KRAMER: Mister Peterson, you gotta sell me my stories back!
PETERMAN: You want to know something? I no longer need them!
ELAINE: No, no. Mister Peterman, why don't we keep them - as a, as a reference?
PETERMAN: Nonsense! (To Kramer) I have Benes' wonderfully imaginative mind to spin my stories. You take back your tales, you vagabond!
KRAMER: Yippie-yi-yay!
PETERMAN: (Hangs up) There you are, Elaine. Go forth, and create. (Elaine gets up to leave) And, by the way, when you get to that chapter about my romantic escapades - feel free to toss yourself in the mix.
Technorati Tags: Seinfeld, Peterman, bogus, Frey, Oprah
CHICAGO (Reuters) - Author James Frey confessed to Oprah Winfrey on Thursday that he made up details about every character in his memoir "A Million Little Pieces" and the talk show host apologized to her viewers, saying she felt "duped."[segue to Seinfeld-"The VanBuren Boys" episode...]
In 19 years in television "I've never been in this position before," said Winfrey, whose praise for Frey's book in September helped make it the top-selling book on nonfiction lists in the United States last year.
PETERMAN: (Laughs) Kramer, my friend, that is one ripping good yarn.. (Hands Kramer a check)
KRAMER: You know, if you like that one, I got more.. what are you looking for? Romance? Comedy? Adventue? .. Erotica? (Clicks his tongue)
ELAINE: No, uh, Kramer. I don't think -
PETERMAN: (Interrupting) How much would you take for the whole lot?
KRAMER: My whole lot?
PETERMAN: Name your price, man!
KRAMER: (Thinks) 1500 dollars.
PETERMAN: I'll give you half that.
KRAMER: (Excited) Done!
PETERMAN: Kramer, my friend, (Gestures to Elaine) consider Elaine at your disposal.
[snip]
ELAINE: Would you please just get on with the stupid Bob Saccamano story?!
KRAMER: Well, I'm on the phone with Bob, and I realize right then and there that I need to return this pair of pants. So, I'm off to the store.
ELAINE: What happened to Bob Saccamano?
KRAMER: Well, nothing. His part of the story is done. (Elaine covers her face with her hands - showing her difficulty coping with Kramer) So I'm waiting for the subway, It's not coming, so I decided to hoof it through the tunnel.
ELAINE: Alright, well, now that's something..
KRAMER: Well, I don't know if I lost track of time - or what, but the next think I knew..
ELAINE: (Adding) A train is bearing down on you?!
KRAMER: No, I slipped - and fell in the mud. Ruining the very pants I was about to return.
[snip]
ELAINE: Oh, what didn't you like about the first chapter?
PETERMAN: Well, it started out nicely: "I'm returning some pants." A very identifiable problem.. (turns page) "I set of down a train tunnel.".. (turns page) But that's where the story takes a most unappealing turn.
ELAINE: Oh, no, no! That's where it gets interesting! Don't you see? The - the train is bearing down on you, you - you dive into a side tunnel - and you run into a whole band of underground tunnel dwellers!
PETERMAN: It just seems so cliched, and obvious. It's not interesting writing.
ELAINE: Yeah.. yeah. I know. Um.. how about if, instead of.. diving from the train, you.. uh, you, I don't know, you slip and, and fall in some mud, and.. ruin your pants?
PETERMAN: (Intrigued) The very pants I was returning. That's perfect irony! Elaine, that is interesting writing! (The intercom beeps)
SECRETARY: I have a Cosmo Kramer on line 4.
PETERMAN: (Picks up the phone) Peterman, here.
KRAMER: Mister Peterson, you gotta sell me my stories back!
PETERMAN: You want to know something? I no longer need them!
ELAINE: No, no. Mister Peterman, why don't we keep them - as a, as a reference?
PETERMAN: Nonsense! (To Kramer) I have Benes' wonderfully imaginative mind to spin my stories. You take back your tales, you vagabond!
KRAMER: Yippie-yi-yay!
PETERMAN: (Hangs up) There you are, Elaine. Go forth, and create. (Elaine gets up to leave) And, by the way, when you get to that chapter about my romantic escapades - feel free to toss yourself in the mix.
Technorati Tags: Seinfeld, Peterman, bogus, Frey, Oprah
