Slurpees of mass destruction

Hooda thunk? For 20 years, clandestine al Qaeda cells have been meeting and secretly plotting the destruction of Our Way of Life^TM in the back offices of 7-Elevens across the land...

Glenn Greenwald - Salon.com

In remarks about domestic security threats, Rep. Sue Myrick of Charlotte said, "Look at who runs all the convenience stores across the country". . .

Myrick’s comments came during a speech to the conservative Heritage Foundation last week about what she called Americans’ lack of readiness to deal with future terrorist attacks. During a question-and-answer session, she spoke about danger within the country.

"You know, and this can be misconstrued, but honest to goodness (husband) Ed and I for years, for 20 years, have been saying, 'You know, look at who runs all the convenience stores across the country.' Every little town you go into, you know?" . . .

We have not yet invented suitable language to do such stupidity justice.

The Spinelessness Scam

As one who has often complained, along with may others in the blogosphere, about the inveterate invertebrate behavior of elected Democrats, I must confess that I have been in denial.

How so, you ask?

Well, it's like this.

I have weighed the conventional wisdom concerning the putative spinelessness of our "more and better" Democratic leaders and have found it wanting. Is it credible, I asked myself, that so many driven, hyper-ambitious men and women - men and women who clawed and brawled their bloody way to the top of the electoral food chain - would suddenly go all weak in the knees at the thought of being called bad names by the other side? And that in the face of relentless criticism from the party rank and file? And not just once or occasionally, but consistently?

No.

What, then, is the explanation?

I believe it is this: "spinelessness" is simply a clever cover for the fact that the Democratic agenda is really the same as that of the GOP, to wit, to keep their corporate owners happy. Republicans, you see, can wear their inner sociopaths on the outside and the GOP base will see it as a badge of honor; Democrats must at least feign empathy in order to get elected and keep their constituents off balance. Dems would much rather cop to the lesser offense of spinelessness (or haplessness, the other excuse that gets trotted out when spinelessness won't do) than plead guilty to their real crime: unbridled self interest. Just like the other guys (with far too few exceptions).

That's it. It was right there in front of me all this time, but I refused to see it. Fool me once; shame on you. Fool me 12,347 times; I fucking deserve it.

No more.

Word to Barney Frank: The planet is LV-426

Wonkette : ‘After 8 years of a president sent by God to lead the American people and rescue us from the horrors of 911 and Islamo-fascists, it now boils down to this?’

Yesterday your Wonkette took its turn to write about the “hot new Internet article,” this thing from Townhall, about how Michelle Obama’s mother Marian Robinson has been practicing Satanic witchcraft — or “witchcraft mumbo-jumbo,” as Barack Obama calls it — inside the White House. The author of this important piece of investigative blog journalism, however, was not pleased with your editor’s dissection of the article. She has sent us an e-mail with complaints and makes a number of provocative political arguments.

Ripley: "...we landed at Townhall.com..."

Company Bitch: "...and found something never encountered on more than 50 known worlds: a creature that gestates inside a living conservative host - these are your words - and has concentrated stupid for blood."

All you need to know about the healthcare debate

All the teabaggery surrounding health care can be summed up as follows:

"Ah ain't lettin' the gummint take mah money an' give it to no ni**ers!"

This is the kernel of all wingnut diatribes against "Big Government."

The truth will out

There are those who seek to know the truth
And those who seek to still it.
True seekers ponder what is sooth
While killers try to kill it.
In numbers great
Or numbers small
The killers seek to smash it all
For hatred's sake
For mammon's call
The killers work as those in thrall
To powers dark
In towers tall.

What towers, you ask?
Well, shit
Who amongst us hasn't seen
The glistening tower
Known far and wide as
The Newscorp Building
In New York
That bastion of decadent liberalism?
Rupert Murdoch has his minions
Jerk him off as he gazes upon
His great, naturalized-American colossus.
And Mellon Bank?
No towers have they?
Nay.
Those rich-ass motherfucker have towers to spare.

But what watchman in what tower watches out for the rest of us?
None, I fear.
So
It behooves us
To look out for ourselves.
And our brothers and sisters.
And remember
Inasmuch as you have befriended my family
My brothers
My sisters
Aunts and uncles
Cousins, no matter how many times removed
You have befriended me
Saith the Lord.

Because the day will come
When the truth will out
And every evil deed in every dark corner
Will be exposed by the light of truth.

Lord!
Hasten that day
Even though it will mean that all of us
Regardless of race
Skin color
Creed
Political connections
Net worth
Will face the Supreme Judge.

Selah.

Atrios explains it all for you

Eschaton

When John Bolton saw Bill Clinton go to North Korea, his penis got a little bit smaller. And that's really what it's about.

If Bolt-On's willy gets any smaller, the man will be sporting two innies. Assuming he doesn't have a herniated umbilicus. In which case he will FINALLY have an innie.

Liberal is as liberal...

...drinks.

Drank liberally last night; first time in a long time I was able, as a newly unshackled bachelor, to belly up to the bar in the company of like-minded crypto-socialist, fascist, multicultural, multilingual, Marxist, nihilist, infralapsarian, anarchistic, freedom-hating, licentious LIBERALS!!!! Saw some familiar faces, met some truly cool new friends, and, in general, had a blast.

You too may experience this blessing. If you are unfortunate enough to live outside of the greater Philadelphia metropolitan area, go to http://livingliberally.org/drinking/ to find a chapter near you. If, however, you are one of the chosen - the few, the proud, the loud, the Philadelphians! - you should head down to the Triumph Brewing Company at 117 Chestnut Street on any Tuesday at 6:00 PM. A great time will be had by all. Youse follow? Or do I hafta slip youse my left fer a convincer?

Word to Dante...

...dude, seven circles ain't enough.

Firedoglake » Jamie Kirchick: Pervasive Republican Birtherism is the Fault of Liberal Blogs

Jamie Kirchick is very upset about this terribly unfair birther rap that's dogging Republicans, and in today's Daily News, argues that it's mostly FDL's fault.

The GOP and its base are little more than a mindless mob of soulless humanoid husks who lie as easily as they draw breath. It's far past time we sent some stimulus dollars to Hades so that Lucifer and his minions can expand their domain to accommodate the vast hordes of Rethug undead who will someday - soon - come seeking entry to the infernal regions. I'm thinking at least another hundred circles. Yeah, a good hundred.

Who knows where that FOX mic has been?

Finally, documentary evidence demonstrating where FOX gets its so-called news from:

Sarin Plain and Palin and the Snatch-Licking Caribou

The latest? Sarah Barracuda bares her teeth at the First Amendment.

AKMuckraker: Huffington Post Blogger Shannyn Moore in Palin's Cross Hairs

Van Flein's letter threatening legal action specifically pointed the finger at Alaska blogger Shannyn Moore as "most notably" claiming as "fact" that Palin resigned under federal investigation.

Van Flein, asked why he singled out Moore, said it's because she went on national television and talked about it. Moore was on with MSNBC's David Shuster on Friday, the day Palin said she will resign.

"There is a scandal rumor here that there is a criminal investigation into some activities and that's been rumored for about, I don't know, probably six weeks or two months," Moore told him.

Yah, and I heard there's a rumor swirling around the Internets that Sarah Palin is in the habit of smearing peanut butter (don't know which brand) on her snatch and then tramping bare-ass naked into the woods looking for a caribou to lick it off until she sees stars and stripes and fireworks and shit. Seems Todd has a permanent case of limp dick (who fathered those whelps then, I wonder?), so Sarah needs to heed the call o' nature if she wants to get off.

After years of hearing about how Bill Clinton murdered Vince Foster, raped the entire population of the women's wing in the Arkansas State pen, and then "disappeared" all witnesses; after listening to Palin gibbering about Obama "pallin' around with terrorists;" after countless blog posts, FAUX News propagandacasts, and Limpbone tirades about the 44th president being a closet Muslim/Communist/Fascist/Atheist/Socialist/Babykiller/Marxist/Hitlerist/Pod person... where the fuck does this dirt-stupid bitch get the chones to threaten anyone with a lawsuit? May God light up her PB-greased ass with some serious fire and brimstone.

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