Tuesday, September 16, 2008

To tell the truthiness...

The Palin Truth Squad - McCain-Palin 2008
John McCain Launches 'Palin Truth Squad' To Dispose of the Truth About Sarah Palin

ARLINGTON, VA -- With today's report that Democrats have "airdropped a mini-army of 30 lawyers, investigators and opposition researchers into Anchorage" to find all the skeletons in Sarah Palin's closet before they come to life and overrun Alaska, the McCain-Palin campaign has launched the Palin Truth Squad to keep America safe from the truth about Governor Sarah Palin, her family, her cronies, and her inexperience. In keeping with the general strategy of the McCain campaign, the Palin Truth Squad will make sure that the truth about Sarah Palin is kept as far from American voters as possible.

"We're nervous about Sarah Palin's record of taking on library books, her ex-brother-in-law, and the atmosphere," said former Governor Jane Swift. "Sarah Palin's commitment to pork is becoming well-known, so we seek to distort the truth about it. We will not allow the left and the media to criticize the only mayor in Alaska who made rape victims pay for their own forensic exams. We know the truth and are committed to making sure that it doesn't cloud the mind of a single American voter."

In the event that the media tells the truth about Sarah Palin, the Palin Truth Squad will either distort the truth or make such absurd attacks on Barack Obama that nobody will be able to remember what they were thinking about before. Additionally, the Truth Squad will be available to spin the media so hard that reporters will become dizzy and vomit.
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