Sunday, December 21, 2008

The Cheney Mutiny

"They think I've lost my ball bearings? They can go f**k themselves!"

"They were all disloyal. I tried to run the nation properly by the book, but they fought me at every turn. If the press corps wanted to walk around with their shirttails hanging out, that's all right, let them! Take the birdshot incident - defective equipment, no more, no less. But they encouraged the press to go around, scoffing at me and spreading wild rumors about shooting in circles and then 'Old Yellowbelly.' I was to blame for Dubya's incompetence and poor statesmanship. Dubya was the perfect fool, but not me. Ah, but the strawberries! That's, that's where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes, but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt, and with, with geometric logic, that, that a duplicate key to the oval office icebox did exist. And I would have produced that key if they hadn't pulled the ISG out of action. I, I know now they were only trying to protect some fellow commie. (He pauses - looks at all the questioning faces that stare back at him, and realizes that he has been ranting and raving.) Naturally, I can only cover these things from memory..."